Dear J,
It's awfully awkward to be writing to you, but one of the few vivid childhood memories I have concern you. I don't think I've properly apologized for it. First, because I'm a coward. Second, because it happened long ago, I thought I was in the right, and I wanted time to pass by. Little had I known, you'd became the first in a long line of crushes that fit the same mold. You, of course, do not know this. I think all this time, you believe that I hated you, that is, if you even have the time to think of me.
But I'd like to say I'm sorry. For that time in 3rd grade, while waiting for class to begin. We were seatmates, and I was engrossed in whatever I was doing, reading most likely. Other people were loud and talking and laughing. But you did something that irritated me. You said something, I can't remember what now. Really, what was it that made me so mad that I went ahead and slapped you hard across the cheek? I left an imprint of my hand on your face, and I shocked our classmates to silence. I sat down in my chair and went on with my reading.
Apparently, I shocked another person as well: our future 4th grade Math teacher. She was rounding out a corner in the lobby and happened to glimpse the scene through the open classroom door. She did not do what other teachers would have done in the same situation. Instead of taking us aside and finding out what's going on, she walked on and never said anything to me. It was only through a conversation with another teacher that she breathed out the reason why I grated on her nerves: I had slapped her favorite. So she tried to have my grades reflect how imprudently I had behaved.
The scene and that conversation are so vivid in my head that I wonder if I made it up. It seems too dramatic that even my dramatic self cannot believe it.
I haven't confirmed this with any of my friends, because I was afraid that people would find out that after that incident, I grew to like you. Yeah, I had it bad and backwards.
Whether the story is real or not, I'm still sorry to you. Sorry for being snotty all the years we've been in school together. We could have been great friends, I think. But I was afraid that you'd find out I liked you, and that we'd be teased endlessly. Kids can be so merciless.
I wish you and your family God's blessings this Christmas.
Sincerely---
