Dear Aziel 언니,
Several days ago, a question came to my mind: Do you think that the future will look exactly like this present life?
It took me aback because when I really tried to answer it, my honest reply is yes. What I imagine life to be 5, 10 years down the road is more of the same life. Is there something wrong with that kind of thinking? How does it serve God, if I think that way?
I only need to look back 10-15 years to know that the future would be full of changes. Little or great, they would be things I couldn't imagine. Back then, I hadn't even considered a life not pursuing medical school. Or facilitating Bible and philosophy group discussions. Or leading a worship team. Or working at a job learning business.
I also hadn't imagined becoming friends with you. I have already told you what our first impressions of you had been. Only God had known the circumstances that would bring us together and through which, you, Faith, Fritzie and I would forge our sisterly affections. God has been very gracious to give us an unni, who hears us like a close friend and rebukes us like a beloved sister.
Some time ago, it also came to me how possible it is for me not be serving at SABF for long. Marrying someone who is serving at another church would be one scenario. Or God may see it fit to send me to another ministry opportunity far from our church. It gave me pause: How prepared am I for God to call me to a different life, far from what I'm used to? Have I been too dependent on the comforts of having family around to resist moving?
If I really consider closely what God has been teaching me in recent years, I shouldn't have any cause for fear. The story of the Israelites going out of Egypt with God leading them with a pillar of cloud by day and of fire by night had already become personal to me. If I stop and take time to reflect, it will become clear that His promise to never leave nor forsake us still stands. I only need to stick close to Him.
You know of all people how cautious I am and how fearful I could be if I give in to it. Thank you for calling me on my selfishness and lack of faith, for saying what I need to hear, for your godly counsel, for stabbing me in the "back-face." Thank you for your love.
Whatever the future may look like, be encouraged that you and Renz hyeongbu had been placed by God in a unique position to edify, challenge, rebuke and advise us younger ones in our church. With the Holy Spirit's guidance and prompting, you have a sphere of influence greater than you think. And rightly so. May God be with you while we are absent one from another.
All my love--
